Today i behaved in a way i thought i will not behave. I felt sad and crying. I got irritated by questions such as why are you so quiet or sad or irritated? Because i did not want to answer those questions. And to be honest i did not understand myself. But then i got a little closer to the answers. I had expectations and that was the problem. Expectations of being a friend who cannot be replaced, or a friend who is enough. Then i realized that earlier i did not have those expectations. It was all detachment. I did not care if somebody tells me something or not, if they are keeping a secret from me, even in front of me. I did not care. I was okay with what i was doing. I was doing my work and if somebody told that was okay. But now i have started caring. Earlier i did not feel entitled, now i do not like when my friends treat me a little like i am replaceable, that ofcourse they have other options. I am feeling bad because I feel i am not enough or important enough. I am nobody’s priority. Literally nobody’s. Not for the people/project i work for. Not for my friends. Not for my family. And that is probably the reason of me feeling low. I need to stop expecting and stop giving selflessly. I think i was irritated also because i realised i help my friends a lot. I am feeling taken for granted.