nobody cares

 I was depressed, sad, frustrated, not being able to breathe, confused, nauseated, unhappy to my core, tired, sleepy, and wanted to escape (not knowing from what and to where) and I opened instagram. I saw people there my college mates, in different states, wherever they may be working, living. Now, i know instagram is not the best way to judge the reality but still, they were happy, atleast in the moment they posted they were happy. and i realized that nobody cares about me. they don't care that i am struggling mentally right now but down the line probably 5 yrs, we both are going to be judged assuming that we both had same life. I will be compared, or I will myself compare and think do i really deserve this, but this additional struggle is making me difficult to even survive. I remember the quote of Kafka, that really explains what I want to say

“I am not well; I could have built the Pyramids with the effort it takes me to cling on to life and reason.” ― Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice‎ Read more quotes from Franz Kafka

is exactly how i feel. And I know that I should start working for me, on me and don't think about others, but I don't have the strength to even think about it.