Wednesday, November 17, 2021

First midsleep anxiety attack

 17 nov 2021

Today i experienced my first anxiety attack while i was sleeping. I am aware that i have severe anxiety, and it really make me feel like shit. I have experienced anxiety after just waking up, in the afternoon, early afternoon, evening and before sleeping. I have experienced not being able to sleep due to it. But it never happened that after i slept, I had to wake up because of it. 

a few days ago, i read an instagram post which said "to the people who sleep peacefully through the night without having anxiety attack, how does it feel like to be god's favourite people", and i thought "oh, i also have not experienced this, but it still doesn't feel like i am god's favourite" BUT now i know.

It is worse, because i was having a dream, and maybe i was in semi dream mode and suddenly my rational mind reminded me of a thought and I got this weird nauseating feeling. I went to the bathroom, i was sitting on toilet and i could hear my heart beating so fast, i feared it would explode. my hands and feet were like i won't be able to move. trust me it was really a bad feeling. I went to bed took a sip of water, told myself to try to go back to sleep, because i can't do anything right now, that i will think about it when i wake.

And eventually after doing a whole therapy session with myself i got some on off sleep. i hope it don't happen to anybody else.

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