Hello old friend,
I am back with my problems where I don't know what to do. I am so confused about my career. I am so confused about what I want to do with my life. I remember my career journey presentation that I made 5-6 years back, where I thought that I will be an RBI grade B office by the age of 23. But I did not study, it did not feel worth it, not because it wasn't but because I was tired of thinking about it without taking any action. I am 25 years old or in almost 6 months I will be 26 years old. What I really want for myself is to be in a job that I will like if not love. I am not behind money, but I do want to be good at what I do and what I am currently doing is not something that I want to be good at. I don't know what exactly I want to do but I want to feel one of the three things atleast, (i) feeling of helping someone, (ii) work life balance to actually have a life, (iii) job where I feel confident. I am not too hell bound on which sector or area, but I feel trapped, by unsaid expectations. I have assumed and imposed on myself and it feels really difficult to get out of them. What I desperately need at this moment is a restart, I want to leave my job, take a gap year or maybe do a course or just prepare for some exams, but I need to get out of this job. Current goal that I have in my mind right now is to have it figured out by the time I am 28. So, what I keep imagining is myself at 28, being REALLY good and confident at my job and not feeling the monday anxiety or jitters. I do not feel any kind of job satisfaction at the end of the day. I do not feel that I helped anybody, rather it feels like a scam, not adding any value but showing that I did. All the ways feel too much time taking and long, and without any immediate rewards it feels difficult to stick to them. I want to for once stick to a plan. I have really forgotten how to do that. I cannot remember last time I decided something and followed through.
