Losing myself

 I have lost myself over the years and not on a good way.

I was going through the screenshots on my phone and I liked them and I don't take them anymore.

Not like that atleast

I liked my past self better

I am losing everything I liked about me

a lost rubberband

 today i lost a rubberband. and suddenly it made me panic. it made me think of all the things that slipping like sand from my hands, going away from me every second. everything that i wanted to do and didn't do. the rubberband is the symbol of my incompetence and carelessness.

today i feel like writing

 i opened goodreads to rate the book "better than the movies", then i stumbled upon "the catcher in the rye" and i just wanted to re-read my review and other people's opinions of it, so i starting reading them. the thing about me is that inherently i am a negative person, a pessimist, so whenever there is a movie or book that i dislike, i go and read 1 or 2 star reviews and feel happy that people have given words to my feelings towards that piece of entertainment. so i started reading the reviews, but i felt bad when i read people giving such negative comments for "the catcher in the rye", it's not like i am in awe of this book, it's just that i don't have problem with the low rating but i don't like the harsh and insulting comments. people are just raging on Holden, and idk why but it feels like Holden is real and he don't deserve criticism from people, he is just a kid.

LOVE

i think there are two types of romantic love, one to die for, the poetic, unattainable love. and the love you live with, the sensible and realistic love, which has an expiry date.